If your holiday season feels less "merry and bright" and more "survive and get through it," here’s why—and what can actually help.
10 Realistic Ways to Manage Holiday Stress
The holidays are everywhere—on your feed, in your inbox, at your job, and in every ad trying to sell you on holiday magic. It’s a lot, and with it comes a lot of pressure. You’re juggling family plans, gift lists, social invites, and all the unspoken pressure to act like everything’s merry and bright.
Even if you like the holidays, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Maybe you feel like you have to keep everyone happy. Maybe you’re spending more than you should. Or maybe you’re just exhausted and wondering why this “joyful” season leaves you feeling so wiped out.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.
This guide offers 10 realistic tips to help you manage stress and protect your peace. Whether you’re navigating awkward family dinners, a tight budget, or just trying not to burn out before New Year’s, these tips will help you move through the season with a little more calm and a lot more clarity.
Let’s dive in.
Table of Contents
1. Set Boundaries
Every article on managing stress starts with “set boundaries.” And sure, it’s good advice. But it’s also really hard to do, especially with people you love or grew up feeling responsible for.
Saying no can feel uncomfortable. You might worry about disappointing someone, causing tension, or being seen as difficult. That’s completely normal. Boundaries can bring up guilt, especially if you’re not used to putting your needs first.
But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to say yes to everything. Seriously. Boundaries aren’t about being rude or cutting people off. It’s about being honest—with yourself and others—about what you can realistically handle.
It’s easy to feel like you should go to every holiday party, answer every message, or follow every family tradition. But you’re allowed to protect your time, energy, and peace.
If you’re not sure where to start, try saying:
“I’d love to join, but I’m keeping my schedule light this week.”
“I need a quiet night in—let’s catch up another time.”
“I can’t commit to that right now, but thank you for inviting me.”
You don’t owe anyone an explanation longer than that.
And if the idea of saying no still makes your stomach hurt, try easing into it:
Instead of attending every gathering you’re invited to, choose the ones that actually feel meaningful.
Be honest about your limits. Instead of overcommitting, express your need for downtime to recharge.
If family dynamics feel tense, have an exit plan or someone you can text when things feel overwhelming.
It’s okay if this feels uncomfortable at first. Boundaries are a muscle, so the more you use them, the stronger they’ll get.
Reminder: boundaries aren’t just about what you say no to—they’re about what you say yes to. Say yes to rest. Say yes to peace. Say yes to doing the holidays your way.
You don’t have to earn your rest.
You don’t have to explain your no.
You don’t need permission to protect your peace.
2. Don’t Go Broke for the Holidays
The holidays can get expensive fast. Between gifts, travel, parties, and every store blasting limited-time deals, it’s easy to blow your budget without even realizing it.
The truth is, you do not need to spend money for the holidays to be meaningful. Seriously. The pressure to give the perfect gift or make everything look Instagram-worthy isn’t worth going into debt over.
Before you start shopping, set a spending limit and stick to it. Write it down or use an app to track what you’re spending. You’ll thank yourself later when you’re not stressed over an overdrawn bank account.
Don’t underestimate the value of simple, thoughtful gestures. A handwritten card, a small homemade treat, or just showing up with intention often means more than something you grabbed in a last-minute panic.
If your budget’s tight, try:
DIY gifts — Think baked goods, playlists, or handwritten notes.
Secret Santa or group gifting — One gift instead of five.
Setting expectations — Let people know ahead of time that you’re keeping things simple this year. Most will totally understand (and probably feel relieved).
The holidays aren’t about how much you spend. They’re about connection, not consumerism.
Reminder: Your presence matters more than presents.
3. Ditch Perfection
Don’t put pressure on yourself to make the holidays look flawless. You don’t need to host a Pinterest-perfect party, decorate like a lifestyle influencer, or find the gift that makes someone cry happy tears. Perfection is a trap, and trying to hit unrealistic standards is one of the fastest way to burn out.
The truth is that most people won’t remember how your tree looked or if the table settings matched. They’ll remember how they felt around you. Were you present? Were you relaxed? Were you you?
Let go of the pressure to “do it all.”
You don’t have to bake from scratch.
You don’t have to attend every event.
You don’t have to wear matching pajamas.
Done is better than perfect. And good enough really is enough.
Try this mindset shift:
Instead of “What else do I need to do?” ask, “What can I let go of?”
Instead of “How do I make this perfect?” ask, “How do I make this feel good for me?”
Give yourself permission to rest, cut corners, or just show up as you are.
Reminder: Perfect holidays don’t exist. Real ones do, and they’re a lot less stressful.
4. Breathe, Stretch, Shake It Off
When stress builds up, your body feels it—tight shoulders, racing thoughts, fatigue, maybe that anxious “on edge for no reason” feeling. That’s your nervous system asking for a break.
You don’t need to sign up for a yoga membership or meditate for 30 minutes to help move stress out of your body (unless you want to, of course). Sometimes, all it takes is a moment to breathe, move, or pause to remind your body you’re not in danger, just overloaded.
Here are a few low-effort ways to reset:
Step outside and take five slow breaths. (Yes, even if it’s cold.)
Stretch for one minute. (Doesn’t need to be anything fancy.)
Sit still with your phone flipped over. (No scrolling, just let your thoughts settle.)
This isn’t about magically transforming into a person who is calm all the time. It’s about noticing when your body’s getting flooded with stress and stepping in before burnout hits.
Reminder: You don’t have to push through everything. Pausing and taking rest is productive, too.
5. Find Your People
The holidays can bring up a lot, especially when you’re not surrounded by people who feel grounding or supportive. Maybe your family stresses you out. Maybe you feel lonelier with people than without them. Or maybe you’re just craving connection that feels real.
That’s why it matters to lean into the people who actually get you. Not the ones you “should” spend time with, but the ones who make you feel safe, relaxed, or just more like yourself.
That could mean:
Grabbing coffee with a close friend instead of attending a big party
Texting someone who always makes you laugh
Starting a new tradition with chosen family, roommates, or even just yourself
You don’t need a packed social calendar. You need people who see you and meet you where you need them to.
If you’re feeling disconnected this holiday season, you’re not broken. Lots of people quietly struggle this time of year, even if they don’t talk about it.
Reminder: Who you spend time with matters more than how many people are around. Protect your energy and give it to people who give it back.
6. Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is usually the first thing to go when life gets busy, especially during the holidays. Late nights, early mornings, too much sugar, too much screen time. . .it all adds up.
When you’re running on low sleep, everything feels harder. You might feel more irritable, less focused, and way more emotionally drained.
The goal isn’t to be perfect about your sleep schedule, but to protect it as much as you reasonably can.
Here’s how to start:
Try to go to bed around the same time each night, even on weekends. The body loves consistency.
Put your phone down at least 30 minutes before bed. If that feels impossible, at least switch to something low-stimulation, like music or a nighttime meditation podcast.
Cut back on caffeine in the afternoon (looking at you, holiday lattes and festive espresso martinis).
It’s frustrating when you’re “wired and tired,” where you’re exhausted by your thoughts begin to spiral the second your head hits the pillow. As difficult as this is, it’s normal during anxious or high-stimulation times.
Instead of lying there spiraling, you can try:
Giving your brain something to do that doesn’t require effort, like listening to a meditation or an audiobook you’ve already hear. Focus on the narrator’s voice instead of your own thoughts.
Keep a small notebook by your bed. If something keeps looping in your mind (a task, a worry, a “don’t forget this”), just write it down. You don’t have to journal; just get it out of your head and onto paper.
The goal isn’t to force yourself to relax, but to give your mind fewer worries to grip onto.
Reminder: Sleep is not optional. Protect it like you would any other boundary, because everything feels more manageable when you’re rested.
7. Nourish, Don’t Punish
The holidays come with a lot of food—and a lot of weird messaging around it. One minute you’re thinking, “Treat yourself.” The next minute it’s, “I better work this off tomorrow.” Many people struggle with feeling guilty about what’s on their plate or stressed about “making up for it” by exercising.
You must remember that food isn’t something you earn. It’s fuel. It’s comfort. It’s a social part of how we connect. Enjoy your holiday meals without turning them into a mental math problem of calories in versus calories out.
Try reframing this way:
Eat throughout the day. Don’t skip meals to save calories for later. You deserve to eat.
Stay hydrated. Water won’t solve everything, but it does help your mood, energy, and digestion.
Listen to your body and focus on what actually feels good for you.
You might overeat, and that’s okay. It happens. You don’t need to “fix it” or punish yourself the next day. Just move on, gently.
Reminder: You’re allowed to enjoy food. You’re allowed to feel full. You’re allowed to exist in your body without apologizing for it.
8. Escape with Micro-Moments of Joy
Not every break needs to be deep or meaningful. All it needs to be is a break.
If you’re moving through the holidays on autopilot—bouncing from errands to events to texts you haven’t answered—it makes sense that you’re feeling depleted. You don’t need to fix this by scheduling a whole weekend off to reset; instead, you just need a few minutes where nobody needs anything from you.
These small joys matter more than they get credit for. Here are a few you can actually do:
Sit in your car a little longer before going inside. No notifications. Just stillness or your favorite song.
Put your phone down and do something with your hands, like folding laundry while listening to music or making tea without multitasking.
Look out the window and let your brain drift with no agenda.
Text someone just to say “thinking of you.” It’s low-effort and makes you feel more connected.
You don’t have to force joy or pretend to be in the holiday spirit. But you can create little pockets of calm that help you catch your breath.
Reminder: You don’t need a full recharge. Sometimes, a quick reset is enough to keep going.
9. Limit the Scroll Spiral
You open Instagram just to “check something,” and suddenly it’s been 45 minutes and you’ve seen everyone’s matching pajamas, engagement photos, and perfectly lit dinner tables. You’re not even sure how you feel. . .just kind of worse.
That’s not a coincidence.
Social media ramps up stress, especially around the holidays. It’s a highlight reel, and it can make you feel like you’re the only one who isn’t thriving, glowing, or celebrating perfectly. Spoiler: you’re not.
You don’t need to quit scrolling completely, but you can make it less overwhelming. Try:
Logging off when you feel yourself comparing
Muting or unfollowing accounts that make you feel like you’re not doing enough
Setting a time limit for apps (and actually sticking to it)
Checking in with yourself about whether scrolling makes you feel better or worse
You can also choose to replace screen time with something more grounding, like taking a short walk without your phone, watching a comfort show you’ve already seen before, or playing a feel-good playlist while tidying up your living space.
Reminder: You don’t have to consume everyone else’s holidays while trying to survive your own.
10. Ask for Help If You Need It
The holidays can bring up a lot, and not just stress in the surface-level “I’m so busy” way. For many people, this season stirs up grief, loneliness, financial strain, complicated family dynamics, or mental health challenges that feel harder to carry this time of year.
If you’re struggling more than usual right now, you’re not the only one. And you don’t have to power through it alone.
Help doesn’t always have to be big or formal. It can look like:
Reaching out to a friend just to say, “Hey, I’m having a hard day.”
Telling someone you trust that you’re overwhelmed, even if you don’t know exactly why.
Making a therapy appointment, or revisiting it if you’ve been putting it off.
Calling a support line just to talk. That’s what they’re there for.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re falling apart. It means you’re taking yourself seriously.
Reminder: You don’t have to wait until you’re at your limit to ask for support. You’re allowed to reach out before things feel unmanageable.
Caring for Your Mental Wellness Is a Holiday Priority
The holidays can be messy, emotional, and overwhelming, even when everything looks fine from the outside. If you’re feeling stretched thin or more stressed than usual, you’re not failing. You’re just human.
Give yourself permission to move through this season in a way that feels right for you, even if that means slowing down, doing less, or reaching out for support.
And if you’re a young adult in Oregon or Washington looking for someone to talk to, Talking Twenties is here and currently accepting new patients. We specialize in supporting people in their 20s and 30s without judgment or pressure—just space to feel heard and supported.
Prioritize your mental health this holiday season.
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